Dear Droid X,
Let’s get this straight, the only thing I like about you is your ginormous screen and the fact that you are not an iphone. Otherwise I can’t stand you. I don’t understand why I can’t delete the crapware Blockbuster app that comes installed on you. I don’t understand why it takes 4 hours to fetch my email, I am not sure you have ever worked in that capacity. While typing I’ll enter a space, then a hyphen, but the hyphen is placed right next to the last character I typed, not the space. If I press space, hyphen that’s what I want, not character, hyphen, space! Motorola you could do better.
Dear Ft Campbell,
Be nice to my brother.
Why can’t I quit you? We are at the point where I feel enraged every time I see a “Keep Calm and…” poster. I MEAN, WE GET IT. NO MORE. And I’ve found enough crafts to do with paint chips until I will be as old and wrinkly as E.T. Yet…. yet, before I go to bed I consider the possibility that there’s just one more thing that I need to learn about. Another way to fold blankets, another spinach dip recipe, another quote that will jolt my heart. I need an intervention.
Dear new magenta North Face Snow boots,
You are so cute!! So cute I get teary thinking about you. I had so much fun wearing you inside for the last 4 hours!! You are going to keep my feet so warm and cozy!
Can’t wait for a blizzard,