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High Five for BEING ALIVE!

Ok, how many of you were legit worried that we would all be engulfed in fire and zombies would be attacking us by now? I guess the day isn’t over yet but I have to admit, it did weigh on my mind more than it should have yesterday. Daggers. But guess what!? We are all still here! And meme’s about the end of the world still exist!

This cat….seriously, I hope his owners are getting paid something for his photo being all over the internet.

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This has been passed around the internet a bunch this week: 25 Funniest Autocorrects of 2012. I admittedly laughed hysterically at some of these yesterday.

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On a whole different note: 26 moments that restored our faith in humanity.

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It’s funny to hear what little kids think Christmas is actually all about.

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This was pretty hilarious.

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I seriously laughed so much reading this!!!

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long robe. If you see husband http://www.buyambienmed.com along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror — make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get …in the shower. Use wash cloth , long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone……
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it’s clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Rinse off. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorb
ent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire wiener size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, and light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. Throw wet towel on bed.

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2.1 Million Ink Dots. Crazy.

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OMG! GO DUCKS!! GO FASTER!!!

 

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That about sums it up for funnies this week. With that being said – posting will be pretty light until after New Years. I have a few sessions to blog about that are coming up this week but I am hoping to take some days off from blogging, spend time with my family, and enjoy the holiday season. This is the first year since I was 16 that I haven’t had to pick a holiday to work on and I am super excited about it and totally going to make it worth it!

 

  • December 21, 2012 - 9:57 am

    Emily - Umm yes. That shower thing is hilarious.

  • December 21, 2012 - 10:24 am

    teri pozniak // tPoz - crap – did it again! clicked on a link & lost my previous comments! Anyways – that ink dot picture is crazy! So is the story that goes with it! Can’t imagine being in limbo for 8 years & no one knowing where you belong!?
    Enjoy not working on a holiday! YAY!

  • December 21, 2012 - 11:07 am

    Daren - this is one of my favorites! def made my day!

  • December 21, 2012 - 2:02 pm

    Mom - This made me laugh til I cried and then cry until I couldn’t read anymore. Now I think I need a nap.

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